18 Y e a r s

Here I am after a long time i didnt post any entry ~ Haha lately i'm too busy with driving license & university admission ( YES ! Now I'm officially one of university student under Accountancy Course )

There's upside down moment that make me feel so sad , worn out & cant face reality being rejected by lotsa government universities .. Last but not least I got the offers (ofc it's government Uni) :D Alhamdulillah eventho I;m not from math stream but Economy  

I dont want to talk about what happen to me for past month but I want to talk about So Ji Su's latest single which .. make my jaws drop ..

I was like "Can he be anymore honest than this?!!" I keep listen he said " This is too hard " repeatedly 
I guess his " fake life " indeed such bothersome ;^;

(made by me  )

Read this :

Lyrics by: So Ji Sub
Composed by: DJ Juice
English translation by: iseuli / t-kpop-t.tumblr.com
Official MV: 

Translation/Korean lyrics under the cut

English Translation:

The suffocating repetition of daily life.

Inside the dark room called TV

I wanted to escape for just a moment

Is that so greedy of me? Will it come true?

For 18 years, I lived on acting

For 18 years, I lived wearing a mask

For 18 years, I’ve been confused between fiction and reality

When I look in the mirror I ask, Who are you, huh?

Hip-hop that began with Deux

The job that I got dragged into by chance

are paychecks for the sake of life?

I’m like a bottomless empty

glass. I can’t help my bitter

smile. Even when I look so flashy

Like the days of childhood simply splitting the currents of the river

I want to feel refreshed. So tired of this suffocating daily life

Inside the square box, I’m gift wrapped inside

I want to fly out into the world but I’m struggling in place like a fish out of water

It’s like I’m a criminal living my life with my head bowed

Every day, I want to look up into the sky. This suffocating feeling

Now, my situation is different because i’m together with MisA ( female )

My loneliness simply  got deeper. It’s really too much to even breathe

My breath is filled from all the hot attention and interest

Even if i’m tired, the pain lasts for just a moment yeah

(Everyone is waiting for me)

Oh, even if I’m tired and it’s so hard to breathe

Oh, I want to find myself

For 18 years they want nothing but my smile

For 18 years my heart is always secretly crying

For 18 years I’m a clown that has sold my soul

Before I could realize, I’ve become gradually so tired

"A movie is a movie," my eyes opened to movies.

But the attention from the world was too much for me

Even if I approach with a friendly heart, no matter how cool or nice

If I don’t talk, I become the emotionless cold bastard actor

Listening to only what they want. Seeing only want they want. Asking for only what they want.

If not, they simply point coldly at me and leave.

What you want isn’t me, it’s a fun gossip.

Keep living with your eyes closed, ears covered. You’ve always lived that way anyway.

I cannot inflict even a tiny bit of pain onto others  instead

I take this pain and let it sink into my skin turning it to a tattoo, swallowing all this pain with all my body.

Pretending to be cool, pretending to be great, pretending like that

I don’t want to anymore. I want to find my real self

My breath is filled from all the hot attention and interest

Even if i’m tired, the pain lasts for just a moment yeah

(Everyone is waiting for me)

Oh, even if I’m tired and it’s so hard to breathe

Oh, I want to find myself

The suffocating repetition of daily life.

Inside the dark room called TV

I wanted to escape for just a moment

Is that so greedy of me? Will it come true?

My breath is filled from all the hot attention and interest

Even if i’m tired, the pain lasts for just a moment yeah

(Everyone is waiting for me)

Oh, even if I’m tired and it’s so hard to breathe

Oh, I want to find myself